


The story unfolds in your touch

by Perzikje



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Feelings, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Painful Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26012608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perzikje/pseuds/Perzikje
Summary: Just two men, sex, and a lot of emotions.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	The story unfolds in your touch

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to just be hot and uncomplicated smut but I guess I kind of failed there.

It was a sunny afternoon out, not too hot with just a slight breeze and blue sky wherever one looked, but it was lost on the two men currently in bed together.

Harry was on his stomach with his hands above his head, face relaxed and flush with pleasure, but Louis was wound tight in anticipation and mostly not the good kind. He was currently three fingers deep in Harry, who was moaning his appreciation. This was usually the point where they’d try to move on to actual sex and that was where the trouble started. Though Harry could easily take his fingers, delighted in it even, he had never been able to deal with Louis’ cock. They’d tried seven or eight times before, all those attempts ending prematurely as Harry had to ask Louis to stop, mostly before he was even fully in him. Though it did stroke his ego to think it was because of his ample size he was pretty sure this wasn’t the problem. While being perfectly happy with his cock, thank you very much, he knew that he was no more than just a bit above average. Not that he ever measured himself and looked up a chart of penis size according to country of birth, certainly not. What did you take him for? He was a classy man. Besides, Harry’s was only just slightly shorter than his but had more girth to it, which Louis did think made all the difference, and Louis was able to take him without too much of a problem. 

Yeah, they switched. He was all for a bit of give and a bit of take. It was still a novel experience for him to have something up his arse but he found he quite enjoyed it, even if he’d never really played around with it before. It was never too late to learn new things, right? But also, he missed fucking. Truly missed it. They had sex all the time, yes, but he was never the one to get to do the actual fucking, at least not with his cock, and that was quite a shame. But after more than a few tries, all ending in pain and consequent frustration for Harry, Louis had changed his outlook on it. Sure, he still wanted it, quite bad really, but it wasn’t worth it if it wasn’t good for Harry. They did everything else they could think of and he was satisfied, quite happily so. Being with Harry just made him happy, even without the getting naked together side of things, though he did thoroughly enjoy that, too. Mostly it was about just being together and understanding each other. They fit. It was just that he didn’t seem to fit _in_ Harry.

They’d tried all sorts of things to make it better. That’s how they’d discovered there was such a thing as too much lube, when things got so slippery that he couldn’t even get two fingers in, the second slipping away each time. They had a right laugh about that one. He lived to make Harry laugh, seeing the skin around his eyes crinkle, but it wasn’t always the most conductive to get off together. Still, things had gotten serious again after he’d employed a towel, but it eventually stranded with just the tip of his cock in Harry, the latter trying to breathe through the pain but failing.

There was also the fact that Harry, when receiving any sort of direct prostate stimulation no matter how light, got quite desperate to come after only about a minute or ten. He did always try to stave it off but it made him clench in such a way that there was no stretching him any longer. Most of the time it didn’t take another ten minutes for Louis to just give in, put his hand or mouth on him and let him finish. It was a special kind of frustration because he could feel him go all tight around him, his traitorous imagination immediately supplying how it would feel on his cock. Other times he tried to not stimulate him so much, but then Harry would feel uncomfortable after a while. Balance was key and on some days they did manage it, getting as far as him being three sometimes four fingers in, Harry all pliant beneath him, sweat on his brow, eyes slanted and his cheeks red, Louis concentrating on stretching him as best as he could, both feeling like _this time, it was going to work for sure_. But then it would all go wrong when he tried to replace his fingers with his cock, trying to go as slow and gentle as he could. He wasn’t sure what the problem was really and wasn’t sure if Harry knew. Probably not. He’d said he didn’t, and Louis trusted him to be honest about this. 

Because they did talk about it. At first Louis had needed assurance that this was something that Harry actually wanted to do, him thinking that maybe it didn’t work because deep down Harry didn’t like it, that maybe he identified purely as a top (God, Louis hated that term. Top, bottom, what did it matter? They were themselves and did whatever they liked without having to name it). When he’d been satisfyingly assured that it wasn’t true, they had tried to come up with a solution. 

In the beginning they figured it was probably about the mechanics. But trying different positions or angles hadn’t made much of a difference, though through this experimenting they had learned that Harry liked to be on his back, legs spread and knees drawn up with a pillow under his ass. Unfortunately that also seemed to be the most painful position for him, Louis having absolutely no chance to get in there like that with more than a finger or two, so now every once in a while Louis just fingered him like that while snogging him crazy. 

Oh, the fingering. Oh God, _the fingering_. It made his every nerve burn with desire to see just how Harry enjoyed it, going from pleasantly turned on and playful as he tried to kiss and kiss and kiss Louis, to making deep sultry sounds in the back of his throat every time Louis would even just slightly graze over the right spot, his cheeks and chest flushing something fierce and eyes drooping with his mouth slightly open, to getting increasingly desperate, whining for Louis to touch his dick (“Louiiiiiiis”), and when Louis refused, both of Harry’s hands coming up from where they were usually clinging to the sheets and some part of Louis to touch himself, looking absolutely debauched, just to stop right before he reached his destination and placing both hands under his hips or on the headboard to avoid temptation, just so he could keep going for a while. He would get so tight at that point that Louis would give up on thrusting his fingers, instead delivering near constant pressure with circling motions. Harry would take it so beautifully, thighs shaking and cock jumping, head thrown back to expose his throat. Eventually Louis would take pity on him, this mostly happening around the time his hand started to cramp up, and he would finally touch him, after which it would usually not even take a minute before Harry was coming with a soft and almost quiet high pitched sigh. Louis adored that sound. Loved how Harry would go all quiet and his voice high, very contrary to how he usually sounded. It was amazing. Louis revelled in it that he could draw that kind of noise from him. 

Apart from all the blowjobs and fucking Harry also made love to him on the regular, all sweet and slow, his eyes full of wonder, tender touches and kisses all the way through. Louis loved that, too. Loved how it made him feel, all cherished, adored and taken care off. He wished he was able to reciprocate and make sweet, tender love to Harry to show him how much he cared for him. But also like, fuck him crazy out of his mind. Make him flush all the way down to his toes, clinging desperately to him and making him scream and come so hard from just Louis’ dick inside him that he’d mess up the sheets in such a way that they would have to give them up as a lost cause and just fucking burn them or something. Yeah. Maybe he watched a porn or two too many. But fuuuck. The arse on him. And those thighs! How was he supposed to _not_ think about stuff like that?

From where they started this, this… _thing_ , Harry had let him see all of him, every feeling and emotion without holding back. He could be quite hard to read if he so chose to be, but around Louis, he never was. He would look at him, gaze so open and trusting, letting every emotion be seen, felt even, that it had caught Louis off guard the first few times they were in bed together. He just couldn’t follow. He had plenty of confidence in his bedroom skills, even if most if not all was with the other sex, but something about being like this with Harry had thrown him off at first. They’d been mates for so long, had even lived together once, and now all of a sudden there was this new thing between them that revealed a side of his friend that he hadn’t seen before. A very sexual side. It was just weird. The eyes that he’d known for years and learned to read a long time ago, sparkling because he had some kind of mischief on his mind, now sparkling up at him in exactly the same way but with the addition of Louis’ cock so deep down his throat that Louis saw stars. Yeah, _weird_ didn’t even begin to cover it. 

He didn’t question too much why this was now happening between them after all those years. They’d hit it off immediately after meeting and things had only gotten better when they’d gotten to know each other more. Louis never had any trouble making friends and was a very touchy-feely person, which Harry seemed to enjoy, so it had been like that from the start. It was only after his mom had roped him into a talk all serious like, to assure him that it would be alright if it turned out he liked boys as well, that he realised exactly how touchy-feely he was with Harry all the time and that most people wouldn’t find it normal friendly behaviour. They practically did everything together, sometimes even sleep in the same bed, but it’d been platonic. They didn’t kiss or anything. Well, not on the lips, like. Well, Harry used to give him love bites all the time in those early days. But still, even now after this humongous change in their relationship he was sure that during that time, he hadn’t felt any kind of romantic love for Harry and he’d been sure it was the same for him, both of them having fun with it and playing into it whenever someone confronted them, be it serious or not. Lately though… with their new relationship he’d been wondering if he’d been wrong about Harry’s feelings. Maybe he should ask him. One of these days. He just didn’t know what answer he would like. 

At least he liked to think his mom would’ve approved. She’d always liked Harry. Louis was sure she looked in on him sometimes, so she knew about them. Hopefully she wasn’t looking in at this exact moment, though.

Louis twisted his fingers at which Harry gave a particular loud moan under him.

“More.”

“Not yet.” Though Harry was taking his fingers well, his muscles were still tight around Louis’ fingers. He opened and closed them, going deeper, trying for a good stretch. Harry was always very tight, almost like he couldn’t relax those specific muscles. They’d tried to work on that as well, trying different things to get Harry to open up. 

Alcohol had been the easy first thing to try, but as it turned out, not the way to get this to work. Louis could hold his liquor very well, even if he did say so himself, but he was a mellow drunk and while he could definitely get it up, he couldn’t really get excited enough to come. Harry had tried once, taking it as a personal challenge, but after more than an hour all that had been accomplished were a sore throat and jaw for Harry and raw skin and frustration for Louis. Only letting Harry get buzzed and being sober himself was something that they both did not want. Getting high together they’d also tried, but that had been a bust too. Or well, Harry had been loose and so, so warm, both of them snickering cause everything seemed so goddamn funny, but when Louis had been three fingers in and was getting hopeful, Harry had said all sultry and desperate “I want you to fuck me so much”, which had set Louis off in a fit of giggles he was unable to control because at the time, it had seemed like _the funniest shit ever_. Harry, after being flabbergasted at first, joined in. That night, they had a lot of fun. But they still didn’t fuck. So no, making use of various (il)legal substances also wasn’t the way to go.

Maybe it was Harry’s ass. Could an asshole just be too small to take a dick? Louis had no idea. He hadn’t asked Harry, that was just too awkward. He didn’t want him to feel like there was something wrong with him for not being able to do it. In one of his finer moments he caved and Googled it on a free morning when he was alone, with alarming results. Plenty obscure and even a few not so obscure forums had threads about this and in most, at least one person would suggest that ‘the bottom’ should just take it and stop being a pussy about it. That was just, no. Not helpful. Not what he was looking for. If anything, he thought Harry let him go on for too long, seeing him grimace in pain after another failed attempt. Other results were alarming in a whole other way. Apparently, you could have polyps, in your ass, that could hurt. What the fuck? Also, piles. This at least, he’d heard about before. Trying to be inconspicuous, he asked Harry about this one morning when they were having breakfast, but it was a negative from him.

(“Does it sometimes hurt when you take a shit? Or is there like, any blood?”

“What? That’s not normal, Louis. You should really see a doctor.”

Harry had refused to fuck him for almost three weeks after that before Louis could convince him he was fine.)

This polyp thing was a bit more scary, even more so when the dreaded word cancer came up on some webpage. There was seriously such a thing as ass cancer? Again, what the actual fuck? It had freaked him out in such a way that he’d closed all tabs and just gave up on his research. That hadn’t stopped him from examining Harry’s butthole the next time he was down there though, just to relieve himself of his anxiety. If Harry had noticed, he hadn’t mentioned it. Thankfully, everything looked fine down there. Felt fine too; even when he was four fingers in he couldn’t feel any kind of blockage or nothing. Also, no matter how rough things sometimes got when he fingered him, there had never been any blood. So Harry was good. Thank fuck for that.

He couldn’t understand why Harry was still so adamant to get his ass fucked if it hurt him that much every time, but here they were again. He’d known the direction things were going when Harry had randomly announced he was going to take a shower in the middle of a perfectly lazy afternoon out on the porch, waking Louis from where he was dozing off. Harry liked to be clean inside and out before engaging in any sort of ass play and Louis could take a hint. Sure enough, when he’d got up to the bedroom some time later Harry had been on the bed, lazily running his hands over his body with his cock already half hard, slight flush high on his cheeks, biting his lip and looking like a goddamn porn mag spread. 

“Come fuck me Louis.” 

Yeah. How the hell was he supposed to be the sensible one and point out that this wasn’t a very good idea given their track record? He’d tried to weakly protest, honestly, he had (“Love, you know I don’t want to hurt you”), but his resolve had wavered almost immediately at the sight before him and with the way Harry raised his eyebrows, his expression conveying _you know you want me_. And Louis did. All the fucking time. So goddamn much it hurt. So here he was, three fingers in and opening Harry up without too much trouble, his efforts rewarded with an approving moan. So far, so good. 

He was focused on keeping Harry relaxed and not too much on finding his prostate yet, though he made sure to graze the general area. Harry wasn’t having it anymore though, his previously lax body tensing just so as he started to move his arse up into Louis’ touch.

“Louiiis…” 

“Be patient.”

Harry mewled, thrashing his body to get Louis to do what he wanted. Louis wasn’t pleased. Someone had to be sensible here. He knew that giving in to what Harry wanted right now would mean things would not work out for them later. Harry had to know this too. Even so, he wouldn’t keep still under Louis. He slowed the movement of his fingers inside him, giving Harry a minute to calm back down. When that didn’t happen Louis pulled out and lay on top of him, the weight of his body pressing Harry fully into the mattress, manoeuvring himself so he could put his chin on Harry’s shoulder. 

“Hey, calm down love.”

He got a whine for his troubles. Then, Harry reached behind them and pushed Louis’ boxer clad ass deeper into him, moving his own hips up. Louis had to close his eyes at how good it felt. It was just a bit of dry humping, but Christ almighty.

“Just fuck me, I want it...” Harry’s voice was already laced with desperation.

“You’re not ready darling.”

This earned him another whine. Really, he was completely gone for Harry, but he could be such a fucking brat sometimes.

“Get me ready then.” 

Louis barely refrained from saying _I was doing just that until you decided you couldn’t fucking wait_. Fuck, now he was getting agitated too. He knew he needed to snap out of it or else give the afternoon up as another bad job. He closed his eyes and just breathed, letting the air fill his lungs, breathing the tension out of his shoulders. 

He opened his eyes when he felt Harry squeeze his side. His earlier frustration must’ve been clear on his face for Harry apologized, “I’m sorry.”

Louis bend down to kiss the place where neck met shoulder.

“I’ll be good.” Harry looked sorry, too.

“It’s alright,” Louis pressed his lips to the same spot again, “I just don’t want to hurt you again, yeah?”

“I know. Me neither. I just really, really want you inside of me.”

Those words delivered in that low timbre made Louis’ cock twitch inside his pants where it was still pressed against Harry’s ass. Harry raised both eyebrows and adapted a smug expression in reply. 

“You want it too.” It wasn’t a question.

Harry lifted his head, not being able to move much more without throwing Louis off. Louis met him in the middle. Their lips collided for a kiss, easy at first but turning deeper almost immediately. Louis had to crane his neck something bad in this position but he wasn’t going to let up. Eventually, Harry was the first to pull back, smiling up at him. They looked at each other for a few seconds without speaking, just taking in the moment. 

Of course, the moment couldn’t last forever.

“Your eyes are so green.” What. The fuck? How did _that_ come out of his mouth? Louis scrunched up his face and pressed his forehead to Harry’s shoulder in embarrassment.

Harry chuckled. “Yes,” he said, amused.

“Fuck, that was so bad,” Louis groaned, lips moving against the spot he’d been kissing just a minute ago.

“I dunno. It’s factual.”

Louis could hear the laughter in his voice and sure enough, when he dared to lift his head, his cheeks no doubt red, Harry’s entire face was alight with amusement. 

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t even say anything!” Harry laughed. “It’s alright babe, I won’t laugh at you.” 

Louis raised an eyebrow in disbelieve as Harry was doing exactly that.

“Not too much, anyway.” There was the self-satisfied smirk again. 

“Shut it.” 

Harry lifted his head up again, meeting him for a quick peck on the lips.

“Now,” Harry started as he settled back into the sheets, laughter forgotten, “be a darling and put your fingers back in me.”

“Yessir.” 

Louis added more lube, warming it up on his hand before pushing two fingers back in. They went easily. Soon, they were back where they left off, Louis having three fingers in Harry, but now Harry was more relaxed and not thrashing about which made things a lot easier. Louis decided they were ready for more. Curling his fingers he finally aimed with intention. It took a few tries but then he was right on the money if Harry’s moans were anything to go by (and he totally knew they were).

“There!” 

The way Harry arched his back, even when he was lying down on his stomach like this, was a sight to behold. 

“So good, baby.” Louis didn’t know if he was commenting on how well Harry was taking it or how good he was obviously feeling, but it didn’t matter for Harry replied with a breathy, “Yes!” anyway.

Knowing from experience that they had a limited time window with Harry being this open and accepting, he decided to go for maximum preparation and lined his pinkie up.

“Last one,” he said so Harry knew what was coming.

“Do it.”

With four fingers in it was difficult to get the right angle but that was alright, Harry seemed to like it anyway as his breathy sounds took up a notch in intensity.

Louis was applying every trick he knew and had read about to stretch him as best as he could. Harry was doing so well that Louis dared to think that _maybe_. Maybe this time. Maybe they could have this. 

“Condom.”

That was Harry’s way of telling him to get a move on.

“You ready?”

“Hmm-hmm.”

Louis agreed. This was the most relaxed Harry was going to get and he was doing great. He got up from the bed, got naked and retrieved a foil square from the bedside cabinet. The anticipation was catching up to him again now. The thing was, this certainly wasn’t the first time that it seemed like all was going as it should and all those time had ended up being…yeah. Best not to dwell on it now. Only positive thoughts and all that.

He got back on the bed. Harry had flipped himself over onto his back and had a hand on his cock, giving himself a few lazy strokes as he looked at Louis. He was a sweaty mess with splotched cheeks and hair matted to one side. Louis was sure he hadn’t ever seen anyone more beautiful or lovely. 

“Kiss me.” 

Louis easily obliged, getting on all fours over Harry, bending down to connect their lips. Tongues got involved quickly. Harry pulled him down on top of him and screwed his hips up in such a way that Louis’ dickhead caught and dragged on Harry’s bellybutton, making delicious heat run through his loins.

He had to pull back in order to get some proper air, leaving Harry’s lips, making it up to him by licking a hot stripe up his neck to his earlobe, softly pulling on it with his teeth. 

“Oh…”

Louis did it again.

“Get in me now.”

“Yeah, okay,” he gulped, his tongue almost tripping over the words, wanting nothing more than to give Harry exactly what he wanted.

He found the condom somewhere on the sheets, put it on and lubed himself up. Harry eyed him hungrily while still lying on his back, hand squeezing, but before Louis could comment he moved to get up on his hands and knees. Louis took a deep breath, willing his nerves away, and moved in right behind him, putting his cock up against Harry’s entrance. This was it.

His body was taut and both men were so silent you could hear a penny drop. Despite his nerves, despite all the doubts in his head, despite all the times they’d already been in this position and how it had never ever worked out, Louis was overcome with lust. Harry’s arse was just amazing and he wanted it so bad his mouth watered. After swallowing hard he took a deep breath and painstakingly slow started to push himself inside, one hand on his cock, the other on Harry’s ass. He went as slow as he could, holding himself back because he knew what would come. He had to push a bit harder to be able to pass the ring of muscles, Harry reacting with a not so pleasurable gasp, and Louis just _knew_.

“Wait.”

There it was. 

His hips immediately stilled. He was maybe a third of the way in. 

Doing his best to be slow and gentle, he moved to pull out. One of Harry’s hands shot out and grabbed him on the back of his thigh, “Don’t!”

The sudden move jostled him and his hips accidentally jerked, making Harry give a groan that was all pain. Goddammit. Louis’ stomach dropped.

“Fuck, sorry.” 

Harry didn’t reply.

“Want me to stop?”

Here he was, on his knees behind Harry with his thighs tensed, trying to keep a level head which was bloody difficult as he was partly inside hot, hot heat and delicious pressure, goddamn, the _pressure of Harry’s ass_ , waiting to hear what it was that Harry needed. One of his hands moved to Harry’s hip to give him a comforting squeeze. 

“Just, wait,” Harry sighed, “I think maybe… it’s just. Keep still.”

Louis wanted to see his face but could only see part of one flushed cheek and the back of his head where it was hanging down in between his tensed shoulders. He wasn’t all too sure on this, but Harry was never shy about saying what he wanted or didn’t want, so. Still, he couldn’t help but ask, “Are you sure?” 

Harry hummed in affirmation. 

Well, okay then. He tried to settle in, not sure how long he was supposed to be in this position, but it was bloody difficult. Harry was completely immobile beneath him but for the movement of his ribcage to accommodate his breathing. Again, Louis thought about how much he wanted to see him, see his expression, to make sure he actually was alright. He wanted to lay sweet kisses in between Harry’s shoulder blades, but that meant him bending down and he sure as hell didn’t dare to risk it in fear of Harry being in pain again. He needed something, though. His breath was laboured and sounded harsh in the silent room, in sharp contrast with Harry’s which seemed to be steady, controlled, even. Louis moved his hand to where Harry’s ribcage was expanding and deflating in a perfect rhythm. He traced a path over his spine, making his way to all the small moles and blemishes with precise affection. Harry gave no reaction at any of this. 

Eventually his knees started to hurt with his full weight resting on them and the urge to move became almost unbearable. It wasn’t just his knees. No matter how much he tried to push it down, there was a deep, primal instinct in him that wanted to get Harry underneath him and fuck him senseless. Of course he wasn’t going to give in to that, just the memory of that terrible, painful sound Harry had uttered some minutes ago being more than enough to resist, but the urge was still there, buzzing underneath his skin. He reminded himself again that he wasn’t into pain at all which helped to keep him in check. 

He couldn’t deny the relief he felt though when Harry told him he could carry on.

“Alright?” He tried to make sure.

“Yeah. Go slow.”

Louis did exactly that. At first both were silent but for their breathing, but then Harry cut through the silence with a sound that Louis wasn’t sure was pain or pleasure or something in between, but he knew better than to stop when Harry didn’t outright ask him to and so he kept going, so slow that it was agonizing. About an inch later Harry dropped down to his elbows, his head bowed down so low that it was almost resting on the mattress. Still, he didn’t tell Louis to stop. Almost the same noise sounded and was now obviously more pain than pleasure. Fuck. Then, Harry clenched so hard and so suddenly that Louis’ vision almost blacked out for a bit, definitely not in a good way. 

“Oh love, please relax,” he almost begged. The pressure was so overwhelming, changing from a bit too tight to actually painful. This was not going to end well at all.

Harry’s previously steady controlled breaths quickly turned to a panting frenzy and he snapped, “I’m fucking trying, okay!” 

And yeah, yes, Louis did know that, of course he did, but it did nothing to distract him from the painful vice Harry had him in. 

This was exactly what he’d wanted to avoid, Harry being in pain and frustrated he couldn’t do it when Louis would be perfectly happy to do anything else but this. But he’d been powerless to deny Harry what he desired, not with Harry knowing exactly how to ply him and show off his body to get his way. He knew he was just as guilty as Harry for giving in to him, again. So Louis just had to deal with it. He didn’t know for how much longer he could though.

Taking a deep breath, he carefully offered, “Try to bear down. Might help you relax.” 

Louis hoped it would, not sure how much longer he could take this tortuous pressure around him where he was so sensitive while trying to keep still. Harry was silent again. Louis was almost sure he’d managed to piss him off for real, but then he could feel him try. The relief of the vice like grip loosening lasted only a few seconds before the whole thing backfired spectacularly, as he was now effectively being pushed out. Harry made a noise in displeasure when he caught on and started clenching again, harder than before. Louis’ bullocks tried to shrink in on themselves in protection and he almost felt sick to his stomach. It was too much. 

“Harry. I can’t,” he breathed harshly. Oh fuck he was going to be sick.

His words were met with a displeased sound, changing to “Nooo” when Harry realised that Louis was pulling away. 

“Sorry, love.” 

He plopped down on his back and closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to convince his brain that his cock wasn’t going to be chopped off by the mere power of Harry’s ass.

Immediately, Harry got on top of him, sat back on Louis’s thighs and put a hand on him, squeezing. Louis appreciated the gesture but was still too out of it to feel any kind of pleasure, one arm flung over his face.

“Give us a minute love, yeah?” 

There was a sound in protest from Harry as he started to move up, going so quick that Louis couldn’t even process what was happening before it already had. Harry got his feet under him, crouched, and promptly sat down on him, not stopping until Louis was about two thirds of the way in. 

“ _Fuuuuuck_ ,” was the most intelligible thing Louis could come up with, pressure and heat encasing him yet again. Only a few seconds later he thought about what would’ve happened if Harry hadn’t opened up to him, shivering at the mere thought, nausea returning for a moment. He willed it away.

Fuck, Harry felt amazing around him, but that wasn’t anywhere near slow and gentle. When he looked up Harry had a painful grimace on his face, one that Louis was well acquainted with by this point. Shit. He knew this wasn’t a good idea, he fucking knew it.

“Oh, love…” He put his hands on Harry’s tensed upper legs, rubbing them to hopefully distract him somewhat from the pain. Harry would not look at him.

“Ow,” Harry breathed harshly, “it hurts so fucking much, why does it hurt so much?” 

Louis’ stomach sank. “Then stop.” Nothing happened. “Just stop, it’s okay.” He made a move to try and get Harry off him, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Harry.”

“No.”

Louis did not know what the fuck he was supposed to do now apart from just waiting it out and see when Harry would decide that this wasn’t working. He went back to running his hands over Harry’s legs. His muscles were trembling with the effort of holding himself up on his feet in this awkward position. He was just about to try to get him to stop again when Harry finally looked at him with stormy eyes. Louis gasped at the intensity of it, the sound drawing out and turning into a startled moan when Harry slid all the way down without warning, all the while looking him dead in the eye and not stopping until he was rested in the cradle of Louis’ lap.

Both let out a gasp. Louis dug his fingers deep into Harry’s muscles in reflex, only relaxing when he realised what he was doing.

“Shit. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

Louis didn’t really believe him, not with the way Harry hung his head down again with his eyes closed and forehead wrinkling.

“Give me a minute.”

Slowly, Harry moved his feet from under him to rest on his lower legs and knees, trusting his weight to Louis’ hips. He took deep, steadying breaths.

“I’m alright,” he said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself most of all. 

Louis’ voice was soft and gentle in contrast to his words, “Why the fuck did you do that for, huh?” 

Harry gave no answer, completely focused on his breathing, eyes still screwed shut. 

Now that he was fully sitting in Louis’ lap Louis could touch him freely, kneading the soft skin just above his hips, trying to calm him. Well, also trying to calm himself, really. Because. He was inside of Harry. Inside of him. Fuck. His loins were again burning with the almost undeniable urge to just _move already goddammit_ but he squashed it down again and again, concentrating on the softness of Harry’s skin and the sound of the deep breaths he was taking. He also focused on keeping both his legs stretched on the bed so he couldn’t get his feet under him and move up like his body was aching for him to do.

“Gravity,” Harry spoke.

“Huh?”

Two clouded eyes looked at him again. “Pulls me down in you. On you. Fuck.”

Louis didn’t understand what he was trying to say, but he made no comment. Probably Harry was just voicing stuff to distract his mind. His expression showed that he was still in pain, though he did start to wiggle around a bit instead of staying completely still. It was driving Louis absolutely crazy with desperate lust. 

“Squatting helps relax pelvic floor muscles.”

It took a second for Louis to realise what he was on about, but then, right. Apparently Harry had done his own research.

“Like, in childbirth.”

Yeah, this was getting weird now. “Don’t pop out any babies on me, darling.” 

“Can’t. You’d have to fuck me first.”

A thrill went through his body. The way Harry had said that sounded like a challenge. Sure enough, when they locked eyes again Harry’s gaze was all heat and expectation, prompting him to do something about it.

He dug his heels into the bedding and thrust his hips up slightly, not able to get much leverage with his legs stretched and Harry’s weight on his lap but that was just as well, seeing as he wasn’t completely sure he could control himself otherwise. The effect was instantaneous. Harry’s eyelids drooped, mouth open in a gasp. It enticed Louis to do it again, the friction of it all making pleasurable heat coil in his stomach. But the third time around he could see the shadow of a grimace pass on Harry’s features. It lasted less than a second but it’d been there. Not for the first time, he stilled.

“Hurts?” he breathed out, his muscles tense, desperate to carry on but reminding himself again that his pleasure wasn’t worth Harry’s pain.

Harry closed his mouth and breathed harshly through his nose. Louis pinched his side waiting for an answer.

“Hmm,” Harry’s eyes closed again, “it’s okay.”

Yeah, that wasn’t an actual answer, but Louis could read between the lines. “What do you need?”

Stop, maybe. They should stop. Definitely stop. Louis didn’t want to stop. Fuck, he did not. But if it was still hurting, then why were they still doing this? 

“Maybe… maybe I should be the one to move.”

Yeah, that could work. Or lead to disaster. But it wasn’t like he had a better clue where to go from here. Also, there was a part of his brain that was screaming at him what an excellent idea it would be for Harry to ride his cock, fully supplied with moving pictures, because it certainly wasn’t hard to imagine with their current positions. Down, boy. Keep it together.

“Okay.” His voice was surprisingly steady given the way he was currently drowning in a pool of barely contained lust, all aimed at the man on top of him who was repeatedly and most likely unknowingly clenching and unclenching around him in a pulsing rhythm, driving Louis out of his mind.

“Just… another minute?”

Louis squeezed his sides in silent reply. He would give Harry all the time that he needed, ignoring how strung out he was getting himself. He could do this. He _would_ do this.

Harry kept his eyes shut, chin tilted down towards his chest, trying to relax. He blindly grabbed Louis’ hand from where it was tracing a tattoo on Harry’s leg and squeezed. Louis squeezed right back. _I’m here_ , he wanted to say but didn’t. At least the clenching stopped. Fuck, but he was only mortal, on the verge of losing his cool. There was only so much he could take. Luckily it seemed that Harry was managing to relax though he was still bloody tight around him. 

A few seconds more had Harry lifting his head and opening his eyes. He groped for Louis’ other hand, intertwining their fingers. His gaze was far away but slowly Louis could see him returning to himself and to him. Harry’s eyes found his.

“Hey.” He squeezed Louis’ hands.

Louis smiled up at him, “Hi.”

“Fancy meeting you here.” 

“Well, you do seem to have my cock up your arse, so… y’know.”

Harry smiled proudly, his face going soft, lines appearing around his eyes. “I do, don’t I?”

“Yeah, love. You got it. You’re doing so well.”

Louis was quite out of it at this point, not really sure what he was saying, but Harry seemed pleased as he preened at the perceived compliment. Louis’s chest and belly were all aflutter with the sight. 

Harry took a few seconds more and then, almost hesitatingly, started to move on top of him. At first his movements were awkward as he was trying out which way to go. Louis could relate. The first time he had been on top was also the first time he had realised that hip movements were very different from being the one receiving rather than giving. Thrusting for example was fun for a while, but did not really work. Harry was figuring it out on top of him. Louis stared up at him in adoration, it being the only thing he could do to keep himself in check and stay still to let Harry do his thing. 

It took a minute or so but then Harry found his stride and started to screw himself up and down Louis’s prick in an unhurried and carefully calculated rhythm, grinding Louis in and out of him with such an agonizing slow pace that it was almost torture. The concentration on Harry’s face slowly made way for something a bit closer to pleasure, his mouth hanging open as his breaths turned to soft gasps and sounds of exertion. 

He’d lost his hard-on a long time ago, something Louis knew was quite normal when you were taking it up the ass even when there wasn’t pain involved, but now Louis could see him chub up again. He wanted to touch but decided to wait, afraid to ruin Harry’s focus. 

Tilting his hips back and forth Harry tried to find the perfect angle, forehead wrinkling when he couldn’t quite seem to get it. Louis tried to help, separating their hands and placing Harry’s on his sides so he had to bend forwards. Harry lost his momentum for a bit but Louis put both hands on him to steady him. Again Harry tilted his hips so and so, finally succeeding in his endeavour, letting out a shaky breath through puffed lips when he got the right angle.

“Yeah?” 

The lengthy groan Harry let out was answer enough. Newly determined, he picked up speed. Louis was so, so, so very much grateful. Heat was spreading through him with every up and down movement of Harry, racing through his chest and stomach before finally settling a bit further south, pushing him towards a fast finish. 

“Baby,” he tried to say, but Harry seemed to already be in a similar state. 

“Fuck me,” he asked of Louis, his voice just absolutely gone with desperation.

At this request Louis had no qualms anymore to bend his knees, get both feet on the bed and thrust up, holding Harry in place with both hands. Beautiful Harry, sexy Harry, gorgeous, lovely Harry moved with him, working himself down when Louis pushed up. Harry started to moan in such a way that Louis knew he was close.

“Lou. I need… Ooh...”

It was a bit of a struggle to see which hand they could spare between the two of them to keep their position as it was, but in the end Harry got a hand on himself, stroking fast. This time when he clenched around him Louis welcomed it, knowing they were both on the cusp, waiting to take the plunge. In the end it was Harry who went over first, going quiet before releasing a high pitched sigh, wet pearly strings landing on Louis’ stomach. He looked up to not miss the blissed out expressing on Harry’s face. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, hand still working on his cock. Christ, he was gorgeous like this. Louis wanted to see him through it completely but he simply couldn’t wait anymore, not with this sight before him and not with the way Harry was still clenching. Having slowed down when Harry went over he picked up his previous pace again, sparing another glance at Harry’s face to make sure he wasn’t uncomfortable. He purposely angled his movements away from Harry’s prostate, not wanting to overstimulate him. Direct contact right after release wasn't much fun. 

Soon he lost all conscious thought, heat accumulating in his loins and finally boiling over and out of him. He thrust up a few last times to chase the feeling, only relaxing back into the sheets when the last spasms left his body. 

Harry promptly collapsed on top of him. He pushed their chests together and buried his face in the side of Louis’ neck. Louis was catatonic and had barely began to catch his breath, but he willed himself to move a hand down from Harry’s hip to where they were barely connected so he could pull out completely, Harry’s movement having mostly dislodged him already. Harry gave a small groan but stayed exactly where he was with his spread legs on either side of Louis’ thighs. Louis put his arms around him. 

They were both silent, lost to their own thoughts while their breathing levelled out. Louis was mindlessly running his hands up and down Harry’s back, trying to comfort him even if he did not know if Harry needed comforting. He placed a kiss on his shoulder, the only place he could reach without having to lift his head too much. Harry’s warm breath puffed against his overheated skin. A few seconds later Louis became aware of a growing wetness on his neck. He tried to get Harry to move but he was uncooperating, not even wiling to move after Louis tried to get him to lift his head. Louis rolled both of them over until they were on their sides so he could actually see Harry. Just as expected his cheeks were streaked with silent tears, wet eyelashes clinging together as more drops fell, now going sideways. 

Louis’ instinctual reaction was that of alarm but it went away when he realised this was _Harry_. Harry, the man who had let out a few tears when Louis had answered yes to his question if Louis would agree to be his boyfriend, even though at that point they’d been dating exclusively for some time, with Louis firmly believing they already were boyfriends and had been for weeks and weeks. Harry, who had cried over FaceTime to his mom as he told her about their relationship. He just was an easy crier, be it happy, sad or even angry at times. Besides, this entire afternoon had been such a big intense emotional and physical rollercoaster that even Louis was feeling overwhelmed, he just didn’t express it like Harry did.

Without a word he kissed the tears from Harry’s face until they stopped, holding his face after, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb. It took a while before Harry looked at him again.

“Sorry,” he said when he’d calmed down.

“Nah, ‘s alright. I suppose it was pretty intense.”

Louis knew Harry really was fine when he didn’t miss a beat. “One could even say it was… _orgasmic_.” 

“You didn’t,” Louis groaned.

“Hmm, I did.” Harry nuzzled into him again, entwining their legs. 

His voice sounded tired. Hell, Louis was tired himself. He pulled Harry even closer and kissed him, combing his hair out of his face. With his forefinger he traced a line over Harry’s features, from the soft skin around his eyes to the more rough stubbly skin on his chin. Harry smiled lazily when Louis booped his nose. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Harry seemed to ponder it for a bit. “Floaty,” he eventually said. “Good floaty. You?” he added, almost as an afterthought.

“Brilliant.” 

They smiled at each other with contentment. Right after, Harry’s eyelids began to droop.

“Okay,” Louis said, “I’mma clean up before we fall asleep.”

In the bathroom he made quick work of the condom before cleaning himself up and getting a washcloth warm and damp. When he returned to their bed Harry hadn’t moved an inch but was still awake. Louis got in beside him and snuggled up to him, arms going round. They cuddled like that for a few minutes before Louis urged Harry to sit up, offering him the water he’d brought. Then he got to cleaning his face with the cloth that was more cold than warm now. Harry was all relaxed and pliant in his arms and smiled at him lovingly.

“You’re taking good care of me.” 

“Hush.” 

After cleaning his face and peppering it with soft kisses, he manipulated Harry into lying down on his stomach with his face turned towards him, a lazy, content smile setting in once again. Louis moved to his back, slowly working his way down from Harry’s shoulders with kisses and the occasional blown raspberry just to make Harry laugh. Every time, he could feel the deep rumble starting under his lips before he heard it, making him smile in return. 

Louis knew the exact moment when Harry figured out what his destination was for he abruptly stiffened and turned over onto his back, dislodging Louis from atop of him and effectively moving his ass out of reach, his knees knocking together with his ankles crossed so his legs were firmly closed. Louis fixed him with a look.

Harry tried to act all innocent, “What?”

Louis was not going to play this game. “I just want to check if you’re okay.”

“Nooo,” Harry whined, his cheeks heating up.

Somehow Louis wasn’t surprised. “Why not?”

“It’s not sexy, is it.” 

“You are very sexy,” he bend down to kiss Harry’s stomach, “and I think taking care of each other is also very sexy. Like, totally hot.” He wiggled his eyebrows, trying to get a laugh out of him. When Harry didn’t reply he went on, “I’ll be fast, I just need to check.” 

Harry covered his face with both his hands, mumbling, “I’m good.”

“Yeah, I trust you. But also, I just want to make sure.” If Harry thought he could persuade him out of this, he was very wrong indeed.

The following silence almost felt like a stand-off. Louis waited it out, having learned a long time ago that, though he had zero patience in all things and he found it difficult to wait, it really was the only way to sometimes win with Harry.

“Ugh, fine,” Harry eventually decided, arms dramatically dropping down in exasperation. His face was still red.

Half a minute later and Harry still hadn’t moved. Louis wasn’t much impressed.

“Come, now.” 

He waited with an expectant look on his face until Harry turned back over, faceplanting into the pillow in some kind of misplaced embarrassment. Louis ignored it and got to work, moving down until he was level with his bum again. A quick inspection told him that while it was all a bit red and swollen down there which was to be expected really, there didn’t seem to be any real damage done. Louis cleaned him up as best as he could before casting the cloth aside and moving back up, putting his head next to Harry’s who was still pressed deeply into the pillow and looking like he was trying to suffocate himself with it. 

“Are you done?” he asked, voice muffled.

Louis chuckled. It was such a Harry thing to get all embarrassed at something stupid like this, while not fifteen minutes ago he’d been riding him unabashedly like a champ. 

“Yeah, all done love. You’re all good.”

Harry quickly turned on his side, bashfulness completely forgotten. “See? I told you!”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn all the time you know that?”

Harry’s face turned soft. “I love you, too.”

 _Oh_.

It wasn’t like he’d never said it before, but Louis instinctively knew that this was different.

Harry laughed, a deep rumble coming from his chest, “Oh God, you should see your face!”

Louis wasn’t sure what his face was doing right now but his mind seemed to have imploded in on itself. 

“Err…” he tried after being silent for a while, feeling like he could not just say nothing, “You. Are also… lovely? Yeah.” He nodded to emphasize his words.

Green eyes sparkled at him, filled with endearment. “Yeah?”

It was almost too much. “Yeah, yeah.” He couldn’t find more words, so he conveyed his feelings by hugging Harry hard, trying to climb into him. By the way Harry clung to him almost desperately he thought he did a pretty good job at expressing what he was feeling even if he couldn’t give voice to it yet. They kissed for long minutes, both high on each other, an overload of endorphins and their feelings and emotions, tiredness forgotten for now. 

“So, is my ass ever going to feel normal again?”

Harry was trying to act all serious but he couldn’t hold back a smirk. Louis snorted.

“Oh you…” he said before he put their mouths together again, giving Harry kiss after kiss after kiss. _This man_. Really. 

“But seriously, is it?”

“Butt,” Louis giggled, “your butt!”

Harry looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Loser,” he called him, but it was delivered rather fondly. Louis was so inexplicably happy right now.

“It’ll be okay. You’ll probably feel it a bit tomorrow, but should be fine the day after. I usually am.” Yes, usually. Except for that one time when Harry had fucked him so hard and deep that he’d felt it for three days. Still, he hadn’t regretted a thing. He even got off to the memory every now and again. 

“I want to tell you something.”

“Hmm?”

Harry paused for dramatic effect. “Your eyes are so blue.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at him, “Fuck you very much.”

“Hmm, pretty sure you just did.”

He seemed entirely too happy with himself and Louis couldn’t help but to give him a shove, not that it did any good as Harry was a solid rock beside him, unmoved by his force. He still looked smug as fuck.

A small bit of insecurity crept to the surface. “It was good though, yeah?” 

“Bloody spectacular, more like.”

Louis smiled, relieved.

“I really love your cock,” Harry went on, tongue going between his teeth, knowing full well what the effect of his words were.

Louis pouted, “I thought you loved _me_.”

“Only cause you come as a package deal.”

“I see how it is. I’ll leave you to it then, seeing as my cock is pretty much useless for the rest of the day.” He made a move as if to get out of bed but didn’t get very far, Harry pulling him back in almost immediately.

“Noooo, stay. I wanna cuddle.” He wrapped himself around Louis like an overgrown monkey, arms and legs coming up to cage him in.

Louis huffed out a breath. “I need some breathing room here.”

It only made Harry hug him tighter. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, tell me when you aren’t smothering me to death,” he protested, but silently he was pleased as anything.

“Nap time? You can tell me how much you love me after.”

“It’s a lot. You know, when you gav-”

Louis interrupted him with a finger to his mouth. “Shh. Nap first. Talk later.”

Harry kissed his finger in reply. “Sleep well, my love.”

Louis barely heard him, already drifting off. His last conscious thought was _I got you_. After that he was out, dreaming of green eyes with yellow specks in them.


End file.
